Posts tagged ‘loneliness’

Friendship Loss?

Channeled by Brenda Hoffman for LifeTapestry

Summary of Brenda’s December 18, 2020, channeled “Creation Energies” show at During this holiday season, do what you need to do, even if that means performing that which no longer interests you. For this is the last year, you’ll need to perform according to the expectations of others. Some of you moved beyond those expectations, but not all. Allow yourself to function in ways most peaceful for you. You don’t have the energy to fight yourself and/or the world now. 

“Rest” is the title of last week’s “Brenda’s Blog” – her weekly channeled blog for LifeTapestry

Brenda’s “Creation Energies” show and “Brenda’s Blog” contain different channeled information.

Dear Ones,

You are discovering you do not react as you have in the past. Another difference you have perhaps yet to note is you are becoming more self-sufficient and courageous. 

Perhaps you are saying, “No,” as others try to have you meet their needs. Perhaps you are not bothering with former niceties. Or perhaps you are no longer interested in areas that used to interest you. It does not matter how you display your independence and courage, for the end-product is the same for all – the freedom to be.

This first holiday season of freedom is likely confusing. For many of you are questioning your former and current actions, as well as the actions of others. You are deciding which, if any, of your holiday traditions hold enough interest for you to continue. At the same time, others are pressuring you to be who you used to be. 

Even though this is not an easy time, you have prepared for years, perhaps decades. Part of you is fighting with yourself, and another part is fighting against the traditions that now mean little to you. So it continues with the December energies encouraging you to be you in all your glory. 

Maybe you are concerned that your friendship pool has become so small you are not completely comfortable with new you. Even though you have become an independent human angel, you maintain the human trait of wishing to interact with others lovingly. Such is not necessarily true for all human angels. But for many of you, friendship has become a concern. 

You will create new interactions with those of like mind and discover new friends in the most unlikely places. But such information does not appease your current feelings of loneliness, of having to start over in the friendship realm. 

We assure you that your friendship or relationship concerns will be circumvented in the coming months. For 2020 was about discovering yourself outside the social milieu. But then, not everyone self-isolated. By continuing their life as it was, those individuals missed some of the freedoms you developed.

That is not to say those not self-isolating are terrible people, merely that they were given a “get-out-of-jail-free” card they opted not to use. Does such a statement mean they are less spiritual than you? No, merely that they have opted for a more difficult road. Even though they helped create the en masse stop that was 2020, they did not take advantage of that stop. 

So it is some of your friends, or former friends are at a different place than those of you utilizing this year of solitude. And because they are at a different place, you likely do not have as much in common. Which is neither good nor bad, just different. A difference that might be difficult for some time as you flit from one interest to another. A bit like deciding at age 12 you are not interested in playing with an 8-year-old. Once you and the 8-year-old are both in your 30s. that age difference will mean little. And so it might be for those who opted not to utilize this year of solitude. They will need to double-task for a bit to catch-up to your freedom base. 

Those who did not take advantage of 2020 will expect you to be who you were, for they are mostly who they were when the year began. Such is neither good nor bad, just how they followed their path. For some of those who did not embrace this year of solitude, it was a badge of honor that they did not. Just as was true for those of you who did. So for much of 2021, it is unlikely you will have much in common. 

That last statement is not written in stone, but instead an observation of probabilities. So it is you will likely mourn what was – just as you might have when you left your childhood interests behind. At the same time, you will look forward to the possibilities of your new life and forge new friendships.

That is not to say you will never interact with those friends who did not use this year of solitude to go within, but instead that it might take a bit of time for those friends to catch-up to you. Or you may never interact with them again, for, by the time they are at a similar place as you, you might have such different interests that your interactions are never the same.

That last thought might seem depressing to many of you, for you value your friendships. But just as you are different, so are your interests and interactions. You are more confident in your being and your direction. So even if friends used this year of solitude similar to what was true for you, you still may be on such different paths as not to intersect again.

Which is no different than many of those persons with whom you attended grammar school. In all likelihood, you now have little in common with them, for your 3D adult path was different than theirs. You have the commonality of your school, but not enough other commonalities to maintain more than a passing relationship. Such did not affect your 3D life, nor your transition. So it will be for you as you move through 2021 and beyond. 

You have evolved beyond expectations – what was and who you were are no longer. So those who are not interested in similar areas or on a different time track may not hold great interest for you. But there will be others who help you sparkle with joy and laughter. You are entering a dramatic new phase of your being. A phase that has never happened en masse on the earth before.

You are new. The earth is new. And your friendships will likely shift as a result. Allow that to be. And allow yourself to know that you will not be alone – if you flow into your new being, instead of stalling the inevitable to maintain friendships that no longer – and may never again – sparkle for you. So be it. Amen. To receive Brenda’s Blog, please click the Subscribe Button on the upper part of her “Blog & Subscribe” page and then click the – Subscribe to Brenda’s Blog by E-mail – line. Complete your subscription by entering your e-mail address and accepting the e-mail confirmation.

Copyright 2009-2021, Brenda Hoffman. All rights reserved. Feel free to share this content with others, post on your blog, add to your newsletter, etc. But PLEASE maintain this blog’s integrity by including the author/channel’s name: Brenda Hoffman and source website link:


December 21, 2020 at 9:36 am 18 comments

You’re Not a Friend Control

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Channeled by Brenda Hoffman for

Summary of Brenda’s February 22, 2019, channeled “Creation Energies” show at  Your loved ones are likely in their dark night of the soul. You can’t carry them through any more than they could carry you. Even though you wish to play, they’re stuck in fear. But such will be so for less time than was true for you because you cleared lifetimes, dimensions, and frequencies. Those you love are likely merely clearing aspects affecting this life.

“Your Creations: Macro to Micro” is the title of last week’s “Brenda’s Blog” – her weekly channeled blog for

Brenda’s “Creation Energies” show and “Brenda’s Blog” contain different channeled information.

Dear Ones,

Perhaps it seems as if you have no true friends for those you once thought of as friends are in different transition stages. So it is you cannot understand them and them, you.

Such is so because you have completed many of the phases they are just starting to address. Which is neither good nor bad, merely different. A difference that is displayed in ways you did not anticipate.

You believed you would become more like a parent gently leading those you love to a particular arena of spirituality and belief. Instead, you are discovering that compatibility has become almost a friendship liability.

Should you continue the friendship hoping they will finally embrace your point of view or end the friendship as you have done with others?

Most of you want us to tell you to continue the friendship for you already feel lonely in your new world.

But we cannot tell you what to do or when because we do not have the knowledge you have. Perhaps your current interactions are based in difficulties you had with them in previous lifetimes, or indicate you are no longer on the same frequency and may never be again. Only you know. What does your heart tell you to do?

Some of you in long-term relationships have fallen in love with your partner several times within decades of togetherness, just as you might have fallen out of love. Your heart guided you then and your heart will guide you now.

Some of your friends are ending their evolutional development out of fear. Others are doing so because they need to review their current status, and still others because they are tired of climbing their mountain of clearings. All are appropriate actions for them. Your decision is whether they have moved so far beyond you or your frequency that you no longer have an interest in maintaining the friendship.

That decision is your fear. For your current friendship pool is smaller than you would like and yet, you feel you need to make painful friendship decisions when you wish to be in joy.

This is not a time for final decisions for so many are evolving in so many different directions that what was true for them yesterday may not be tomorrow.

At the same time, you do not have the energy to wait until they blend perfectly with you as they once did.

Your decision is to be true to yourself whatever that means to you.

Perhaps you will wish to prolong the time between connections. Or eliminate connections. Or choose different connections. All are possible – the deciding factor is you.

As a forerunner, your thoughts and beliefs are no longer of 3D fear. Even though thoughts of losing a friend might produce fear, you no longer base your decisions in fear. So it is if interacting with someone makes you upset or fearful, you know deep within you that such interactions are not what you wish.

But then, are those interactions permanent or temporary? Only your inner being can inform you of the advantages of either delaying your decision or ending the relationship.

The decisions you make now are your decisions. Not ours of the Universes nor any one of the earth. Just as we cannot force you to do anything, you cannot force yourself. And continuing the same close relationship despite great discomfort forces you into a box of denial which is no longer appropriate.

You, of course, are wondering where is the joy in loneliness?

Your forefront role created a foregone conclusion that you will be lonely at times, especially at the beginning. As you become stronger in yourself, you will discover others who better understand you or better blend with your frequency.

You cannot force someone to blend frequencies with you, nor can you allow yourself to make decisions on small tidbits as you once did. It is time to review the whole – including you. Are you more or less sensitive than you used to be? Are you accepting that those just beginning their new you transition might be a bit rough around the edges? Or are you tired of being around others who do not understand why they are shifting?

You have the power to decide how if at all, you wish to continue relationships. There is no right answer other than the one you find within you. An answer that might change from day-to-day, which will confuse you more. For you are used to having someone tell you that such a person is wrong for you or to drop a friendship based on some words of wrongness in your mind.

We will remind you that it is likely 99% of the earth’s inhabitants do not yet think or act as you do. And that the 99 % are stunned daily as they evolve, just as was true for you.  Do you remember how quickly your needs and tastes changed during your dark night of the soul? So it is now for many – including those closest to you.

Your shift encouraged those closest to you to shift also. The difference is you were almost forced to change by your pre-earth entry decisions. Those shifting now are doing so because of you.

As you radiate more, those following are picking up your light, so to speak, causing them to want to shift also. But their shift is more of the moment than was true for you so they will flounder a bit more than you did. You did so because you had to. Those following are doing so because they want to.

As your loved ones shift their beliefs and thought processes they will continuously return to 3D fears, not because they have to but because it is more comfortable for them to do so. Allow that to be. They are deciding what is best for them in this lifetime. You must honor their decisions even though you wish to jump in and carry them through, so your friend connections are as delightful as before.

You forerunners are the only ones now of the earth who had to evolve to new you. Allow others the freedom to choose just as we allowed you that freedom eons ago.

If your friends decide not to evolve to a frequency similar to yours, honor that or end the relationship. And if they decide to continue the frequency relationship that holds them dear in your heart, allow them time to do so. You are not in control of them, just as they are no longer in control of you. So be it. Amen. If you would like to receive Brenda’s Blogs when posted, please click the Subscribe Button on the upper part of her Blog & Subscribe page and then click the – Subscribe to Brenda’s Blog by E-mail – line. Complete your subscription by entering your e-mail address and accepting the e-mail confirmation.

Copyright 2009-2019, Brenda Hoffman. All rights reserved. Please feel free to share this content with others, post on your blog, add to your newsletter, etc., but maintain this article’s integrity by including the author/channel: Brenda Hoffman and source website link:

February 25, 2019 at 10:31 am 24 comments

Why You’re Feeling Lonely

cart_headerLife Tapestry Creations - Brenda Black Photo

Channeled by Brenda Hoffman for

Summary of Brenda’s July 31, 2015 channeled, 15-minute “Creation Energies” show at  You’ve evolved spiritually and emotionally for months, years, maybe decades. Now it’s time for your physical being to do so. This phase may continue for days or a few months, but certainly not years for it is time to claim new you in totality – including your physical body. And so you are.

The title of last week’s “Brenda’s Blog” – her weekly, channeled blog for “Moving into a Radical Shift”

Brenda’s “Creation Energies” show and “Brenda’s Blog” contain different channeled information.

Dear Ones,

Even though connecting with others via the Internet is wonderful, such is not like touching one another physically. So it is you are lonely for physical connections – whether of a romantic nature or not.

Your nerves seem to cry out for physical contact. Yet, you do not feel like making the effort to expand your network of friends.

Almost everything seems as if it is too much effort. You once relished the thought of interacting with others. Now it feels like work to move outside your comfort zone.

You left family and friends behind – those you once depended upon to open your heart, your mind or your physical being.

Now you want it all – not in segments or divisions of heart, body, mind – but all in those with whom you interact. And you want it now.

You do not wish to attend parties or other events where you used to connect, for such gatherings now seem hollow. Yet, you do not feel that there are enough others in your corner – as you once did. Even though you are lonely, you cannot conjure up the energy to satisfy that feeling.

How is it possible for you to increase your physical friendship base if you have difficulties leaving your comfort zone? Should you push yourself to do so? Are you doing something wrong? Are you the only one who is lonely? No, no and no.

For indeed, all aspects of new you are designed to be easy and effortless. Work of any kind is no longer part of your daily routine. The difference is you have no framework for meeting others of like-mind and like-action. So how and what are you to do?

Your sense of loneliness has expanded because you wish to have someone – anyone – confirm that you are on the right path, that this transition is not a fairy tale. You never will discover that someone. For indeed, societal dictates of all doing the same thing in a similar time no longer apply.

Even though you can share your experiences with others, no two entities will ever again have the same experiences. This is where your creativity and self-love come into play.

It is as if while searching for a cure of a major disease, all are using different techniques. So discussing findings is more likely to result in dissention than forward thinking. That is not to say you can not share what you have learned, but that not everyone will be that interested for all are on a different paths leading to the same place.

All paths are valid and will not deviate with historical perspective or personal disdain. Your path is your path – and absolutely correct. But no one will ever create the very same path as you for all are combining different segments with different knowledge bases.

You no longer are depending on the histories of earth. Instead, you are all combining the histories of many planets and experiences within those planets.

Of course, there are what you label the Akashic records. But your Akashic records only record your history. You are not privy to everyone’s history for the very reason that you do not yet have the capacity to maintain or even scan the number of records that contain all the histories of all entities of all earth and beyond. You only have the capacity to know you. Which you are discovering one loving experience at a time.

This is your time to make friends with you. But because that thought is so foreign to you of earth, you feel lonely. You will eventually meet those who fulfill some of your physical needs, but not yet, not now. Now it is time to fall in love with you.

Such a thought makes many of you angry. For you do not believe you are that exciting or wise. You are lonely for someone, anyone to share your experiences with. That someone is now you.

For indeed, part of falling in love with yourself is the ability to trust that all you do is correct. Including not wishing to be among large groups or perhaps even one other person. Interacting with multitudes is what you knew in 3D but has little validity for new you now.

First you accepted your new you CEO role. Then you visited your various segments to clear any pieces that might negate your forward movement to new you. Now you are exploring your various segments, including your physical body, to fully know you in all your glory – to fall in love with you.

Then and only then, will new friends fall into place easily and effortlessly. For your beacon of self-loving light will be so bright that it will be impossible for ‘ships to pass in the night.’ And the same will be true for those with whom you connect. For both of you will be fully comfortable with and accepting of yourselves.

Loving enough for the two of you to create a new whole or third connection stronger than either of you individually, yet does not detract from either. Something you do not quite understand, but you will. Just as you did not quite understand how to love yourself when you started doing so.

You are not lonely, you are merely learning how fun and exciting you are. A new thought process, experience indeed. Allow yourself to grow into the totality that is the light of you. And allow the same for others. So be it. Amen. If you would like to receive Brenda’s blogs when posted, please click the Subscribe Button on the upper part of her blog and subscribe page and then click the – Subscribe to Brenda’s Blog by E-mail – line. Complete your subscription by entering your e-mail address and accepting the e-mail confirmation.

Copyright © 2009-2015, Brenda Hoffman. All rights reserved. Please feel free to share this content with others, post on your blog, add to your newsletter, etc., but maintain this article’s integrity by including the author: Brenda Hoffman & source website link:

August 3, 2015 at 10:36 am 62 comments

Holidays – Another Should?

cart_headerLife Tapestry Creations - Brenda Black Photo

Channeled by Brenda Hoffman for

Special Event: Brenda is a featured guest this week of – the Netherlands based Internet show of

Summary of Brenda’s November 19, 2013 free, 15-minute, channeled “Creation Energies” show at The goals of last week’s vehicle creation exercise was a reminder that creations aren’t permanent and you can create in whatever medium you wish. Your child-self used to create with freedom and joy. Your adult dreams are often encased in shoulds. Your new assignment is to create in your mind your most joyful Thanksgiving or special day.

The title of last week’s “Brenda’s Blog” – her free, weekly, channeled blog for   “Between Comfort Zones and Fear”

Brenda’s “Creation Energies” show and “Brenda’s Blog” contain different channeled information.

Dear Ones,

The media, your community and family encourage you to believe that most, if not all, of your friends, relatives and neighbors are enjoying a loving holiday season, that all is wonderful in their lives.

Such is not the case – but deep within the recesses of your being you feel as if it is. Your belief is that you and you alone are wondering where love and joy is.

Even though you might have moments of joy and love throughout this holiday season, you do not seem to have the level of joy others are displaying.

Perhaps it is difficult for you to decorate, shop and prepare to host or take part in holiday festivities. It is as if you are watching from the outside wondering why you feel little or nothing. Or a dull ache of loneliness as others laugh and party their way to the new year.

Your sense of not fully participating in festivities is more about your transition than loneliness. You have detached from friends and relatives in small and large increments. Somewhat like a being from the outside looking in. Perhaps an old-fashioned snow globe is an apt analogy – the kind you shake so sparkly snow falls upon the little village or house within. Even though you enjoy the effects of the globe, you are not in or of the globe.

Your joy is shifting to different places than the somewhat hollow joy of the traditional holiday season.

Perhaps the phrase, ‘hollow joy’ is not appropriate for you love family gatherings. So you might and so you can. But many of you feel less joy than before, or wished you felt, as you participate in this year’s holiday festivities.

Your Old-Age joy was condensed to a few days near the end of the year and labeled the holiday season. Even though there were other holidays and gatherings, those gatherings were not featured throughout your society as is true for the last few weeks or first few weeks – depending on your country of origin – of the calendar year. According to society myth, anger and fear disappear once the holiday season begins only to be replaced with a loving need to give to others emotionally and physically.

That myth was never accurate for many – and is especially not accurate now.

Perhaps you used to enjoy the holidays. Perhaps they were a respite from family disagreements. Perhaps you were alone and lonely. Perhaps you felt harried and confused. Perhaps you tried to enjoy the holidays for others. Perhaps you enmeshed yourself in the love and joy that seem to permeate your world during this period. You always felt something because your society set an extremely high emotional bar for what you should feel.

You may feel little or nothing this year. You might enjoy the company of family and friends – or not. But most likely, you will not muster the energy of joy, fear, anger or disdain that carried you through previous holiday seasons.

You have not become a zombie, Instead, you are declaring yourself independent of society dictates. You are reclaiming your right to be.

That does not mean you must stop loving during this time or that your love is limited to a day or two a year. But instead, that you are beginning to feel holiday joy throughout the year. No longer do you need to have a few days a year set aside for love. No longer do you need to care for others or to be nice so others can enjoy the holidays.

You are not tied to society shoulds. You are a free agent.

If you wish to share holiday joy, please do so. It is indeed a lovely time of year for many. But do not be pressured into feeling something that is society driven – whether joy, angst or sadness. It is not your holiday season, it is society’s holiday season.

Your new holidays are every day you wish to experience joy. Create festivities that fit your joy, interests and needs.

In the Old Age, joys were limited to a few days to help you remember what joy was – a dictate that was only appropriate if you felt joy. Many of you were depressed or sad because your (society) expectations did not meet your reality.

You can now declare “the king wears no clothes.” That the hype around the holidays may be wonderful for some, but not all. That it is perfectly appropriate to not celebrate the holidays, to do so in a different way or to shift the shoulds to fun.

Holiday shoulds are no different from any other should. They were designed to herd you into a pen of assimilation.

Perhaps you feel this message spoils your holidays. Such is not true. We are merely pointing out that some of you are preparing for the holidays with dread, sadness or feelings of “just more work.” None of which speak to joy.

Why are you not encouraged to feel holiday spirit in March or August? Why are holidays limited to a few days each year?

Of course there are holidays throughout the year with different feelings of joy perpetuated by your society. But because you should feel joy on a specific day does not mean you have to – you can feel loving joy when you wish.

As you distance yourself from your 3D world, you will find it more difficult to feel what society tells you that you should.

Perhaps you are now feeling sadness or loneliness when none is warranted. You are creating a new life of joy not encased in society shoulds – including holidays and other occasions.

You are free to declare joy when you wish. The same is true for sadness. Your new feelings are generated from within you – not society. Review your joy and sadness to discover their origins – society’s or inner-directed?

Do you find it delightful to shop for Christmas gifts on Thanksgiving Day? Then do so. Are you shopping for Christmas gifts on Thanksgiving Day because you are so harried with holiday preparations you need to crunch the holidays together? Then perhaps you wish to review your need to fill society dictates. So be it. Amen. If you would like to receive Brenda’s free blogs when posted, please click the Subscribe Button on the upper part of her subscribe and blog page and then click the – Subscribe to Brenda’s Blog by E-mail – line. Complete your subscription by entering your e-mail address and accepting the e-mail confirmation.

Copyright © 2009-2013, Brenda Hoffman. All rights reserved. Feel free to share this content with others, post on your blog, add to your newsletter, etc. But please keep this article’s integrity by including the author: Brenda Hoffman & source website link:

November 25, 2013 at 3:17 pm 27 comments



February 2023

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