You’re Not a Friend Control

February 25, 2019 at 10:31 am 24 comments

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Channeled by Brenda Hoffman for

Summary of Brenda’s February 22, 2019, channeled “Creation Energies” show at  Your loved ones are likely in their dark night of the soul. You can’t carry them through any more than they could carry you. Even though you wish to play, they’re stuck in fear. But such will be so for less time than was true for you because you cleared lifetimes, dimensions, and frequencies. Those you love are likely merely clearing aspects affecting this life.

“Your Creations: Macro to Micro” is the title of last week’s “Brenda’s Blog” – her weekly channeled blog for

Brenda’s “Creation Energies” show and “Brenda’s Blog” contain different channeled information.

Dear Ones,

Perhaps it seems as if you have no true friends for those you once thought of as friends are in different transition stages. So it is you cannot understand them and them, you.

Such is so because you have completed many of the phases they are just starting to address. Which is neither good nor bad, merely different. A difference that is displayed in ways you did not anticipate.

You believed you would become more like a parent gently leading those you love to a particular arena of spirituality and belief. Instead, you are discovering that compatibility has become almost a friendship liability.

Should you continue the friendship hoping they will finally embrace your point of view or end the friendship as you have done with others?

Most of you want us to tell you to continue the friendship for you already feel lonely in your new world.

But we cannot tell you what to do or when because we do not have the knowledge you have. Perhaps your current interactions are based in difficulties you had with them in previous lifetimes, or indicate you are no longer on the same frequency and may never be again. Only you know. What does your heart tell you to do?

Some of you in long-term relationships have fallen in love with your partner several times within decades of togetherness, just as you might have fallen out of love. Your heart guided you then and your heart will guide you now.

Some of your friends are ending their evolutional development out of fear. Others are doing so because they need to review their current status, and still others because they are tired of climbing their mountain of clearings. All are appropriate actions for them. Your decision is whether they have moved so far beyond you or your frequency that you no longer have an interest in maintaining the friendship.

That decision is your fear. For your current friendship pool is smaller than you would like and yet, you feel you need to make painful friendship decisions when you wish to be in joy.

This is not a time for final decisions for so many are evolving in so many different directions that what was true for them yesterday may not be tomorrow.

At the same time, you do not have the energy to wait until they blend perfectly with you as they once did.

Your decision is to be true to yourself whatever that means to you.

Perhaps you will wish to prolong the time between connections. Or eliminate connections. Or choose different connections. All are possible – the deciding factor is you.

As a forerunner, your thoughts and beliefs are no longer of 3D fear. Even though thoughts of losing a friend might produce fear, you no longer base your decisions in fear. So it is if interacting with someone makes you upset or fearful, you know deep within you that such interactions are not what you wish.

But then, are those interactions permanent or temporary? Only your inner being can inform you of the advantages of either delaying your decision or ending the relationship.

The decisions you make now are your decisions. Not ours of the Universes nor any one of the earth. Just as we cannot force you to do anything, you cannot force yourself. And continuing the same close relationship despite great discomfort forces you into a box of denial which is no longer appropriate.

You, of course, are wondering where is the joy in loneliness?

Your forefront role created a foregone conclusion that you will be lonely at times, especially at the beginning. As you become stronger in yourself, you will discover others who better understand you or better blend with your frequency.

You cannot force someone to blend frequencies with you, nor can you allow yourself to make decisions on small tidbits as you once did. It is time to review the whole – including you. Are you more or less sensitive than you used to be? Are you accepting that those just beginning their new you transition might be a bit rough around the edges? Or are you tired of being around others who do not understand why they are shifting?

You have the power to decide how if at all, you wish to continue relationships. There is no right answer other than the one you find within you. An answer that might change from day-to-day, which will confuse you more. For you are used to having someone tell you that such a person is wrong for you or to drop a friendship based on some words of wrongness in your mind.

We will remind you that it is likely 99% of the earth’s inhabitants do not yet think or act as you do. And that the 99 % are stunned daily as they evolve, just as was true for you.  Do you remember how quickly your needs and tastes changed during your dark night of the soul? So it is now for many – including those closest to you.

Your shift encouraged those closest to you to shift also. The difference is you were almost forced to change by your pre-earth entry decisions. Those shifting now are doing so because of you.

As you radiate more, those following are picking up your light, so to speak, causing them to want to shift also. But their shift is more of the moment than was true for you so they will flounder a bit more than you did. You did so because you had to. Those following are doing so because they want to.

As your loved ones shift their beliefs and thought processes they will continuously return to 3D fears, not because they have to but because it is more comfortable for them to do so. Allow that to be. They are deciding what is best for them in this lifetime. You must honor their decisions even though you wish to jump in and carry them through, so your friend connections are as delightful as before.

You forerunners are the only ones now of the earth who had to evolve to new you. Allow others the freedom to choose just as we allowed you that freedom eons ago.

If your friends decide not to evolve to a frequency similar to yours, honor that or end the relationship. And if they decide to continue the frequency relationship that holds them dear in your heart, allow them time to do so. You are not in control of them, just as they are no longer in control of you. So be it. Amen. If you would like to receive Brenda’s Blogs when posted, please click the Subscribe Button on the upper part of her Blog & Subscribe page and then click the – Subscribe to Brenda’s Blog by E-mail – line. Complete your subscription by entering your e-mail address and accepting the e-mail confirmation.

Copyright 2009-2019, Brenda Hoffman. All rights reserved. Please feel free to share this content with others, post on your blog, add to your newsletter, etc., but maintain this article’s integrity by including the author/channel: Brenda Hoffman and source website link:


Entry filed under: inner being, interpersonal relations, light holders, personal power, postaweek2011, self-help, social changes, Wayshowers. Tags: , , , , , , , , .

Your Creations: Macro to Micro Cellular Muck is Out of Here

24 Comments Add your own

  • […] via You’re Not a Friend Control — Welcome to Brenda’s Blog […]


    • 2. LifeTapestryCreations  |  February 25, 2019 at 10:38 am

      Thank you so much, Paula, for reblogging my channel at Living An Inspired Life


  • 3. elizabethsadhu  |  February 25, 2019 at 12:31 pm

    Thank you so much!!!! Shifting. Shifting. Shifting.

    “This is not a time for final decisions for so many are evolving in so many different directions that what was true for them yesterday may not be tomorrow.”

    The Beans always say they could predict the future but then it will change in 5 minutes or so. ☺️☺️♥️♥️♥️

    Much love to us all in these rapidly changing and oh so interesting times.


    • 4. LifeTapestryCreations  |  February 25, 2019 at 2:03 pm

      Hi Sweetie,
      Yup, much love as we move this way and that finding our new you center. By the way, the Beans quote is perfect and most definitely made me laugh!
      Blessings, Lots of Love and Ongoing Creation Sparkles,

      Liked by 1 person

  • 5. elizabethsadhu  |  February 25, 2019 at 12:31 pm

    Reblogged this on elizabethsadhu and commented:
    Thank you so much!!!! Shifting. Shifting. Shifting.


    • 6. LifeTapestryCreations  |  February 25, 2019 at 2:04 pm

      Thank you so much, Sweetie, for reblogging my channel at ElizabethSadhu

      Liked by 1 person

      • 7. elizabethsadhu  |  February 25, 2019 at 2:18 pm



  • 8. dreamweaver333  |  February 25, 2019 at 1:36 pm

    Reblogged this on dreamweaver333.


    • 9. LifeTapestryCreations  |  February 25, 2019 at 2:05 pm

      Thank you so much for reblogging my channel at Dreamweaver333


  • 10. Iconoclast  |  February 25, 2019 at 4:18 pm

    Reblogged this on Infinite Shift.


    • 11. LifeTapestryCreations  |  February 25, 2019 at 7:47 pm

      Thank you so much, Iconoclast, for reblogging my channel at Infinite Shift


  • 12. Eliza Ayres  |  February 25, 2019 at 8:08 pm

    Reblogged this on Blue Dragon Journal.


  • 14. Aaron  |  February 25, 2019 at 8:37 pm

    Hi Brenda and everyone,

    I’d like to share because as usual, what is happening in my life is pretty congruent with what you’ve shared.

    About four weeks ago, after a set of preliminary actions toward a potential new situation failed to bear fruit, I regressed to recommit myself to the one last remaining present but inactive potential in my current environment… The farm that I’d worked at during some of the latter half of last year.

    I’d been up there was once in early December. Spent one day stacking firewood. End of the day, I left by saying “see you in the morning,” only to be met with this grumbly “ehh, doesn’t matter if you do or don’t [show up].” Was like, okay then… So I didn’t show up for two months.

    Four weeks ago I showed up and announced that I’d like to jump back in. He had no qualms, and I came back.

    Tuesday night last week my sister had to work late, and I took it upon myself to jet up the road and feed her dogs, forty-five minutes away. Was out until ten, boots were wet, gloves were still damp, girlfriend was with me, we’d had to forego making dinner, and I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. I did my best to prepare my gear at Sarah’s place for the next morning, but come morning it was all still damp and cold and exhausted.

    So I decided to show my “weakness” – and autonomy – to Steve, knowing full well that even if in my unannounced absence he would choose to not work in the woods – which is his work alone anyways – he had other projects he could work on at his house. And we had nice weather for days ahead.

    I wanted to see how he would speak to me when I showed up at noon, two hours after my told arrival, to explain myself in person, and excuse myself for the rest of that day. I wanted to how he would take it that I would not be joining that day.

    The next morning, I show up on time, ready to go, and busted my tail as usual. All good, nothing said that morning about the day before; work to be done, it gets done. Mind you, he and my mom have been friends for a long time. I live with my mom. He knows she has been under a lot of stress. He knows I take care of my family and we are in the middle a massive transition, with my mom selling the house this year.

    Friday, I’m up there again. Thought I’d be doing my usual thing, splitting and stacking, but his spouse who suffers mild dementia is there, and he has her work with me stacking wood while I run the splitter. Thursday, I ran the splitter all day. His spouse was having a really awful time. Frustrated with herself, doing fine one minute and literally tearing it all down the next. Even though she’s the nicest person on the planet, she was absolutely miserable.

    Steve came around on the tractor. I said “Hey man, look, I’m sorry, but I’m done for the day. [Spouse] is having a really bad time, and I’m not about to humiliate her and tell her she’s doing it all wrong. My back is broken, just working the splitter is killing me. Plus it’s my mom’s last day of work. I’ll come back tomorrow, but I’d like to work alone. I’ll get a lot done tomorrow.” He was fine with it, he says.

    That evening, I get a text. “Don’t come to work tomorrow.” Immediately I call him to see if everything is alright, maybe something happened with [spouse] and he wasn’t going to be around tomorrow.

    Nope. Basically tells me “You don’t show up Wednesday, you take a half day Thursday.

    Goes on to lay all this baseless mockery about how I obviously don’t have what it takes, farming’s hard work, can’t just stay in bed if it’s (hypothetically) raining…

    That was that. Blocked his number, removed the contact, and went home to write my exit interview to the farm administrator who already knows what sort of “obstacles regarding offering employment at the farm” there are, in his words.

    Now there is nothing left to do.

    Since Sarah and I came into each other’s life literally out of thin air, completely beyond explanation, and not even by means of physical interaction, I have no doubt that whatever is next may come along miraculously to serve a purpose greater and more personally satisfying and lovely than anything that could have come from my past. I am free.

    Gotta be true to yourself. Gotta play your cards to see your “opponents'” cards. Everyone learns, everyone grows.

    Thanks again for reading, and for inspiring me to write, Brenda.

    Much love,


    Liked by 1 person

    • 15. LifeTapestryCreations  |  February 25, 2019 at 11:37 pm

      Dear Aaron,
      I’m so pleased that this week’s channel resonated with/for you but I reduced the length of your message as I’m guessing most will not have the time to read your great news summation, “Gotta be true to yourself. Gotta play your cards to see your “opponents’” cards. Everyone learns, everyone grows.”
      Blessings, Lots of Love and Ongoing Creation Sparkles and Freedom!

      Liked by 2 people

    • 16. merlinthewizard777  |  February 26, 2019 at 7:05 am

      Godspeed Aaron. Your story of the miraculous meeting pops into my mind every now and then, and uplifts.
      May this song do the same for you. I know I don’t have to repay the favour, I just want to anyway.



    • 17. AliceinW  |  February 26, 2019 at 8:43 pm

      Gutsy freedom, Aaron. You are showing true openness to the Universe. Bet you’ll have another adventure show up. Many best wishes to you.


  • 18. I lived a lie – Detective of Truth  |  February 26, 2019 at 4:45 am

    […] Other News: You’re not a friend control Welcome to Brenda’s Blog […]


    • 19. LifeTapestryCreations  |  February 26, 2019 at 4:38 pm

      Thank you so much for reblogging my channel at I Lived a Lie – Detective of Truth


  • 20. senlinsays  |  February 26, 2019 at 9:13 am

    Beautiful article. I love it. The thing is, though, that I am the one who finds myself full of fear. I can’t seem to start anything, and I experience sheer terror when considering my place in the world, my age, finances, and doing anything beyond the minimum (I feel) I’ve been doing. I am the fearful friend that people should let go! 🤪And yet I find myself still hanging on to your blog and similar ones, WISHING I were a forerunner & living my joy. Does this fear come in cycles? Is there an end to it? Have any of you been through this?


    • 21. Sunny  |  February 26, 2019 at 11:20 am

      My feelings exactly. I feel so lost and fearful. And was just thinking ‘yeah back to fears again’.


    • 22. LifeTapestryCreations  |  February 26, 2019 at 4:43 pm

      Dear Senlin,
      I’m sorry you feel so filled with fear. Have you asked yourself if you’re a forerunner or part of the second wave? If so, )and I’m guessing you are either or both), why you’re allowing fear to control your life. You don’t have to do or be anything phenomenal to be you. All that’s required is your conscious love of yourself – something you’re obviously trying to address. Relax and accept you, warts and all – that’s your path to peace and out of fear.
      Blessings, Lots of Love and Ongoing Creation Sparkles,

      Liked by 1 person

  • 23. Are You a Lone Wolf? | Life Heart and Soul  |  February 28, 2019 at 9:49 pm

    […] You’re Not a Friend Control […]


    • 24. LifeTapestryCreations  |  March 1, 2019 at 6:15 pm

      Thank you so much for reblogging my channel at Life Heart and Soul



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February 2019

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