Holidays – Another Should?

November 25, 2013 at 3:17 pm 27 comments

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Channeled by Brenda Hoffman for

Special Event: Brenda is a featured guest this week of – the Netherlands based Internet show of

Summary of Brenda’s November 19, 2013 free, 15-minute, channeled “Creation Energies” show at The goals of last week’s vehicle creation exercise was a reminder that creations aren’t permanent and you can create in whatever medium you wish. Your child-self used to create with freedom and joy. Your adult dreams are often encased in shoulds. Your new assignment is to create in your mind your most joyful Thanksgiving or special day.

The title of last week’s “Brenda’s Blog” – her free, weekly, channeled blog for   “Between Comfort Zones and Fear”

Brenda’s “Creation Energies” show and “Brenda’s Blog” contain different channeled information.

Dear Ones,

The media, your community and family encourage you to believe that most, if not all, of your friends, relatives and neighbors are enjoying a loving holiday season, that all is wonderful in their lives.

Such is not the case – but deep within the recesses of your being you feel as if it is. Your belief is that you and you alone are wondering where love and joy is.

Even though you might have moments of joy and love throughout this holiday season, you do not seem to have the level of joy others are displaying.

Perhaps it is difficult for you to decorate, shop and prepare to host or take part in holiday festivities. It is as if you are watching from the outside wondering why you feel little or nothing. Or a dull ache of loneliness as others laugh and party their way to the new year.

Your sense of not fully participating in festivities is more about your transition than loneliness. You have detached from friends and relatives in small and large increments. Somewhat like a being from the outside looking in. Perhaps an old-fashioned snow globe is an apt analogy – the kind you shake so sparkly snow falls upon the little village or house within. Even though you enjoy the effects of the globe, you are not in or of the globe.

Your joy is shifting to different places than the somewhat hollow joy of the traditional holiday season.

Perhaps the phrase, ‘hollow joy’ is not appropriate for you love family gatherings. So you might and so you can. But many of you feel less joy than before, or wished you felt, as you participate in this year’s holiday festivities.

Your Old-Age joy was condensed to a few days near the end of the year and labeled the holiday season. Even though there were other holidays and gatherings, those gatherings were not featured throughout your society as is true for the last few weeks or first few weeks – depending on your country of origin – of the calendar year. According to society myth, anger and fear disappear once the holiday season begins only to be replaced with a loving need to give to others emotionally and physically.

That myth was never accurate for many – and is especially not accurate now.

Perhaps you used to enjoy the holidays. Perhaps they were a respite from family disagreements. Perhaps you were alone and lonely. Perhaps you felt harried and confused. Perhaps you tried to enjoy the holidays for others. Perhaps you enmeshed yourself in the love and joy that seem to permeate your world during this period. You always felt something because your society set an extremely high emotional bar for what you should feel.

You may feel little or nothing this year. You might enjoy the company of family and friends – or not. But most likely, you will not muster the energy of joy, fear, anger or disdain that carried you through previous holiday seasons.

You have not become a zombie, Instead, you are declaring yourself independent of society dictates. You are reclaiming your right to be.

That does not mean you must stop loving during this time or that your love is limited to a day or two a year. But instead, that you are beginning to feel holiday joy throughout the year. No longer do you need to have a few days a year set aside for love. No longer do you need to care for others or to be nice so others can enjoy the holidays.

You are not tied to society shoulds. You are a free agent.

If you wish to share holiday joy, please do so. It is indeed a lovely time of year for many. But do not be pressured into feeling something that is society driven – whether joy, angst or sadness. It is not your holiday season, it is society’s holiday season.

Your new holidays are every day you wish to experience joy. Create festivities that fit your joy, interests and needs.

In the Old Age, joys were limited to a few days to help you remember what joy was – a dictate that was only appropriate if you felt joy. Many of you were depressed or sad because your (society) expectations did not meet your reality.

You can now declare “the king wears no clothes.” That the hype around the holidays may be wonderful for some, but not all. That it is perfectly appropriate to not celebrate the holidays, to do so in a different way or to shift the shoulds to fun.

Holiday shoulds are no different from any other should. They were designed to herd you into a pen of assimilation.

Perhaps you feel this message spoils your holidays. Such is not true. We are merely pointing out that some of you are preparing for the holidays with dread, sadness or feelings of “just more work.” None of which speak to joy.

Why are you not encouraged to feel holiday spirit in March or August? Why are holidays limited to a few days each year?

Of course there are holidays throughout the year with different feelings of joy perpetuated by your society. But because you should feel joy on a specific day does not mean you have to – you can feel loving joy when you wish.

As you distance yourself from your 3D world, you will find it more difficult to feel what society tells you that you should.

Perhaps you are now feeling sadness or loneliness when none is warranted. You are creating a new life of joy not encased in society shoulds – including holidays and other occasions.

You are free to declare joy when you wish. The same is true for sadness. Your new feelings are generated from within you – not society. Review your joy and sadness to discover their origins – society’s or inner-directed?

Do you find it delightful to shop for Christmas gifts on Thanksgiving Day? Then do so. Are you shopping for Christmas gifts on Thanksgiving Day because you are so harried with holiday preparations you need to crunch the holidays together? Then perhaps you wish to review your need to fill society dictates. So be it. Amen. If you would like to receive Brenda’s free blogs when posted, please click the Subscribe Button on the upper part of her subscribe and blog page and then click the – Subscribe to Brenda’s Blog by E-mail – line. Complete your subscription by entering your e-mail address and accepting the e-mail confirmation.

Copyright © 2009-2013, Brenda Hoffman. All rights reserved. Feel free to share this content with others, post on your blog, add to your newsletter, etc. But please keep this article’s integrity by including the author: Brenda Hoffman & source website link:

Entry filed under: channeling, conscious creation, forecasting, inner being, interpersonal relations, metaphysics, new age, new earth, personal power, postaweek2011, prophecy, self love, self-help, social changes, spirituality, transitions. Tags: , , , , , .

Between Comfort Zones and Fear Deep Within, We Want it All

27 Comments Add your own

  • 1. janis´¯`·.¸ʚįɞ  |  November 25, 2013 at 4:40 pm

    Thank you, Brenda…it appears that I will be alone for Thanksgiving and Christmas this year! In most ways it’s fine but in other ways, I’d just like to be with a friend even if we didn’t do anything ‘special’

    I love to read your posts and listen to your blogtalkradio show. The radio show has a place for comments but it appears to be connected to facebook. Anyway, I just thought I’d comment here about over there! 🙂

    Thank you, again, Brenda…♥! It’s All good!


    • 2. lifetapestrycreations  |  November 25, 2013 at 5:46 pm

      Hi Janis,
      I know. I still have some of those holiday feelings also. We’re having a friend for Thanksgiving but nothing planned for Christmas. I’ve decided that my friend of 30 years from MN who visited last week is my special Christmas gift. Society has done a holiday number on us for a very long time hasn’t it??

      I’m not very computer saavy. I didn’t even know there was a comment space on my BlogTalk show. I didn’t do a show this weekend because of my friend visiting. I will return to my regular BlogTalk show schedule this coming weekend. So glad my channels work for you.

      Blessings, Love and Sparkles,


  • 3. AligningWithTruth  |  November 25, 2013 at 6:10 pm

    Thank you for sharing this message Brenda. It has been my way of life for several years now. I have not been celebrating Christmas the traditional way, or I must say, at all. No parties, reunions, gatherings, decorating, gift giving, etc. No pressure, pretense, no stress, no emotion to repress! “According to society myth, anger and fear disappear once the holiday season begins only to be replaced with a loving need to give to others emotionally and physically.” Oh I so love that! I’d cringe, and admittedly get a bit irked, as it doesn’t ring true to me, when a common response is, “Oh, let’s all forgive and be loving. It’s Christmas!” NO! I mean, yes, we are to be loving and forgiving but not only because it’s Christmas. To be loving is a state of being that we all need to be in regardless of the season. “I don’t believe in Christmas; I don’t celebrate Christmas. Everyday is Christmas; everyday is a holiday.” And I make it a point to tell people that when the occasion calls for it. And while many can’t tell if I’m serious or joking as a way of ‘politely’ brushing them off, I’d sense a shift happens. They smile and are taken aback because I’d spoken a truth to them — a truth that they resonate with deep within, although expressed differently on the outside, and only out of succumbing to society’s pressure.

    I so resonate with the feeling of ‘loneliness.’ It isn’t because I am alone during the holidays, which is a decision and a choice I made. But because my being alone is a reflection of my transition. A detachment from a tradition that no longer serves me. It used to. I so enjoyed the holiday season, the frenzy, the adrenaline rush and craziness of it all! 🙂 Not anymore. It’s now part of my growing list of “been-there-done-that”! 🙂 No regrets. I now simply smile as I enjoy myself, being entertained as I watch and let others participate in and enjoy the holiday rush.

    Thank you again for this post Brenda. Bless your ♥ for all the work that you do!

    Much Blessings…Namaste…♥♥♥NadineMarie♥♥♥


    • 4. lifetapestrycreations  |  November 25, 2013 at 6:55 pm

      Dear Nadine Marie,
      And bless you for all the work you do. Your blog frees so many emotionally.

      Our beliefs are filled with society shoulds that we’re removing/working through one by one at times. I can’t wait to see/be the new us. We’ll always be transitioning – that’s a spirituality given. But the new us won’t re-visit beliefs that no longer serve us.
      Blessings, Love and Sparkles,


      • 5. AligningWithTruth  |  November 25, 2013 at 8:03 pm

        Thank you Brenda. I appreciate the words of validation and feeling supported. 🙂 My blog indeed is freeing me emotionally (and thankfully, others too :-)) — not in a venting, ranting sort of way, but in a liberating and empowering way resulting from much clarity and insight and deep insight gained. Yay to me and all that I’ve done and undone! 🙂 And yay to all those who are also removing and undoing what has long imprisoned us. “We’ll always be transitioning – that’s a spirituality given. But the new us won’t re-visit beliefs that no longer serve us.” Ahhhh…Love that, thank you! 🙂


      • 6. lifetapestrycreations  |  November 26, 2013 at 9:39 am

        Hi Nadine Marie,
        Your blog is not a rant or venting piece. I am continuously drawn into your memories by your exceptional writing skills and feel as if I know you and your family. Your blogs read like a novella. The thought processes you explore to heal and forgive or forget are amazing. Thank you for sharing with us.
        Blessings, Love and Sparkles,


  • 7. elizabethsadhu  |  November 25, 2013 at 6:58 pm

    Thank you!!!!! “Holiday shoulds are no different from any other should. They were designed to herd you into a pen of assimilation.” I have felt this one for years! AND have not spent any holiday time with my mother or father for a long long time. I CANNOT do that. I always feel so rebellious at this time. I DON’T want turkey! I don’t like it. I cook chicken. I want it to be different every time. I love change and I hate rules about what it SHOULD be.

    I have refused for about 30-35 years to follow these holiday rules. I know that it has always been about dysfunctional family shit for me, but now it has shifted and it is about just being true to me and my joy, my love, my wallowing in gratitude.


    Perfection. dear sister, perfection!!!!

    love to you,
    “Vanquishing the tyranny of should!” LES (Laura Elizabeth Sadhu) (you may quote me on this!)


    • 8. lifetapestrycreations  |  November 25, 2013 at 7:02 pm

      Dear Sweetie,
      To chicken instead of turkey. To love instead of pretend. To joy instead of fear or frazzle. To life!!!!!
      Blessings, Joy and Sparkles,


  • 9. Eliza Ayres  |  November 25, 2013 at 7:13 pm

    No turkey or chicken here! I’m venturing into vegetarian land with baked yams, homemade soup and salad. Haven’t done a Thanksgiving with “family” for quite sometime and don’t miss it. Blessings and joy to all, all the year round. Eliza


    • 10. lifetapestrycreations  |  November 25, 2013 at 9:53 pm

      Hi Eliza!
      Baked yams, homemade soup and salad doesn’t sound bad. In fact, it sounds pretty darn good. It’s supposed to sleet tonight and as usual, at least when I lived up north, my body is acclimating to cold by telling me to eat – especially good stuff like baked yams and homemade soup. Salad is not usually a winter thought! Enjoy.
      Love Brenda
      PS Isn’t it great how many Lightworkers are ahead of the should curve???


  • 11. elizabethsadhu  |  November 25, 2013 at 7:35 pm

    Reblogged this on elizabethsadhu and commented:
    As I say “Vanquishing the tyranny of should!” And you can quote me.

    Love this one!!


    • 12. lifetapestrycreations  |  November 25, 2013 at 9:55 pm

      Hey Sweetie,
      Thank you so much for re-blogging on!
      Love Brenda


  • 13. soulsoothinsounds  |  November 25, 2013 at 7:46 pm

    It’s so nice to get the validation for feelings I’ve had for decades! In fact, this year I was contemplating ‘escaping’ the holiday frenzy by spending it at the beach…alone. But your post has helped me to understand I don’t really have to run from the madding crowds…I can just declare my independence from having to participate! Thanks Brenda for your loving messages!


    • 14. lifetapestrycreations  |  November 25, 2013 at 9:57 pm

      Hi Maria,
      And thank you for validating for others that they don’t have to run….they just need to be.
      Blessings, Love and Sparkles,


  • 15. mirinthia  |  November 26, 2013 at 1:02 am

    Dear CS/Brenda,
    Should…..LOL…Deja Vu
    Giggles and Hugs, Mirinthia


  • 16. Mary  |  November 26, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    Yay!!! I love love love this message Brenda & all of the comments too. It resonates deeply with me.

    I gave it all up years ago too & “declared myself independent of society dictates”. 😀

    I celebrate each & every Wholey ‘Now’ Moment in my own way.
    I Am not tied to society shoulds. I Am a free Spirit ~ and I love it!!! 😀

    Love & Joyous hugs to everyOne!
    Mary 🙂

    Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee 😀


    • 17. lifetapestrycreations  |  November 26, 2013 at 3:08 pm

      Hi Mary!
      I’m delightfully thrilled to learn that many have already moved into their unique holiday space. Kudos, YAY and weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee for sure.
      Blessings, Love and Sparkles,


  • 18. Christine Hoeflich  |  November 26, 2013 at 5:32 pm

    I so love this post Brenda and I agree with you totally. Much love to you this and every day!

    Christine Hoeflich


  • 20. dreamweaver333  |  November 27, 2013 at 11:42 pm

    Reblogged this on dreamweaver333.


    • 21. lifetapestrycreations  |  November 28, 2013 at 9:27 am

      Thank you for re-blogging on!
      Blessings and Love,


  • 22. franheal  |  November 28, 2013 at 12:41 pm

    Thank you so much Brenda for another “right-on” channelling….really resonates…thank you
    much love to you♥


    • 23. lifetapestrycreations  |  November 28, 2013 at 8:14 pm

      Hi Fran!
      You know we have a mutual admiration society going! I’m so far behind on emails – guests and out-of-town travel in past three weeks – but is a must of my blog/channeling reading. THANK YOU for helping us all better understand this amazing transition.
      Much Love to You in Return!


      • 24. franheal  |  November 29, 2013 at 12:45 pm

        HI Brenda…I completely understand…very behind on my emails too, and don’t always get to read your channelings right away, among others I like, in attempting to keep up with healing work and channelings.. Sounds like we are both busy.. .thank you for all you do to help us along this path….It is nice to be connected with you along the way!…..♥
        Love and Blessings


      • 25. lifetapestrycreations  |  November 29, 2013 at 1:08 pm

        Hi Fran,
        Today is email catch-up day. I’ve been having too much fun vacationing and visiting to read emails. Something a bit odd about that statement!!!! Fun should always take precedent!!!! Just read and commented on your November 21 channel. Wonderful as usual.
        Love Brenda


  • 26. YL Chin  |  December 2, 2013 at 11:47 pm

    There’s no snow in the country that I live in. So, one can imagine how bored I am. Yes, it seems that festivals don’t really perturb me anymore. It has been like this year in year out. And in 2 months’ time, it’s Chinese New Year. It seems time has slowed down. But I do get the opportunity to read Ashayana Deane’s book, Vol II. It’s great that things have slowed down these few weeks, I need the time to read through her material. Mind boggling and I thought I knew all about ETs. LOL! The explanation on ascension mechanics is out of this world. Everything is energy, and I can attest to it. I’ve never read any book that explains energy in such depth. Very inspiring. She must have devoted all her time and effort with heart in this. The book was written a while ago, and by reading it now, goodness, I’ve realised how humanity has taken such a quantum leap in their consciousness and is now ascending fast.
    Black holes,energetic grids, King Arthur’s round table and the Holy Grail- I’ve always wondered what they are all about. Glad I found the answers from the book. Looks like Christmas is about reading. And my Christmas presents……..sob sob…… oh well.

    Brenda, I wish you and your husband a very healthy and happy Christmas and New Year.


    • 27. lifetapestrycreations  |  December 3, 2013 at 8:16 am

      Hi YL Chin,
      It appears as if you’re giving yourself a wonderful Christmas gift – knowledge. I haven’t read any of her books but did enjoy Delores Cannon materials a few years ago.

      There’s no snow here either and I like it that way – way too much snow and ice in northern US where I lived most of my life. Pictures are fine with me. Dave and I planning a very quiet Christmas. We’ve been traveling so much this year that a quiet and peaceful Christmas in our home sounds just perfect – at least today.

      Blessings for a learned and peaceful holiday season for you!
      Love Brenda



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November 2013

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